THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE AND THE ROLE OF A FAMILY IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD:
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘for she was taken out of man.”That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis2; 19-24”.
“In the modern Christianity and culture, casual attitudes to sex have allowed males to drink the milk without buying the cow, and females have been left holding the baby. Yet a requirement for a bride gift would be a strong counter to these attitudes. This is very absurd.”
When a Christian couple commit to marriage, they are bringing together the inheritance that they have received from their own families and joining it together to establish a new inheritance and heritage by establishing a family. This inheritance is not just material wealth. More important will be the inheritance of character, wisdom and calling to complete the will of God for the Family role in the Kingdom of God, both may mean Spiritual calling and physical representation of God for both couples.
The couple are not just starting a family, but establishing a new legacy that will be carried by their descendants. When Jacob passed on his blessing, he did not just give a blessing to each son and daughter. He looked down through several generations to see the large family groups that we be part of his inheritance (Genesis 49).
“Judah your brothers will praise you; your hand will be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons will bow down to you.
You are a lion’s cub, Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness—who dares to rouse him?
The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he to whom it belongs shall come and the obedience of the nations shall be his. Genesis49; 8-10
A Christian couple should look at their future descendants in the same way. They are creating a long-term family heritage that can be part of the Kingdom of God. They should train their children to protect and develop their calling. It was a prophetic message that came from Jacob for Judah that in whom Christ would be revealed, this means Jacob as a parent had understood the call of Judah and other children and looked ahead for the descendants that would arise from Judah. Christ Jesus himself was the Man talked about in the Prophecy. When the couple is brought by God then they will understand the call of their children and teach them to fulfill God’s agenda. “Surprised by the hidden Prophecy” that Jacob made on Judah which was referring to Jesus Christ.
In the current modern church, the marriage has been abused and yet it’s a serious issue really condemned by God especially when it’s wrongly conducted and executed. The Christians today have not understood the true marriage of God, everyone is in confusion, even to the Pastors themselves, I would not know though, maybe the Pastors know and do not know how to guide their flock in the right way because I see always instead the pastors themselves messing up, my question would be how will the flock will be guided if the Pastors themselves are messing up, God have mercy upon the church today.
The subject of true marriage is rarely taught amongst the Christians today and to most churches today, and this has given the devil a foot hold, of how he can seize the young Christians to mess up before marriage time. Because of the flesh corruption and works of the sinful nature deeds, many have given up hope of getting married, some have departed their marriages and others still in the open market looking for marriages, surprisingly the Christians get saved simply someone promised he would marry them, Salvation now is no longer taken by Faith in Christ Jesus through Grace, instead its dependent on the promises of marriage, shame upon us. For that matter and confusion in the church of Christ seen above I will tackle the subject of marriage and the Role of a Family in the Kingdom of God with the Help of the Holy Spirit and may be the Christians can learn lessons and make a better buildup of the body of our Lord Jesus Christ.
In the marriage subject I will tackle the following;
How Authority in the Family and what happens when we marriage
What is Marriage?
What did God say about Marriage?
The true Marriage of God.
Who should marry? And where to marry?
Whom should you marry?
Role of the courtship towards Marriage?
Who gives consent to the marriage of the couple?
With a few questions above about marriage subject, we shall examine one by one so that each Christian in their own category can apprehend and amend their ways how they can handle marriages in the right way. I thank God because of the marriage subject, Marriage is a gift from God which must be welcomed by those to whom it has been given.
Definition; Marriage is an institution set up by God from the beginning for the union of Man and a woman to make up a Family in order to fulfill the agenda of God. Whatever thing is done under marriage must be aligning the agenda of God, for example; Procreation is one of the agendas God had for the Humans, and Making up the Church of Christ was also another agenda plus other purposes of Marriage, God representation on earth, exercising of the Authority in institutions was also part of God’s agenda he wanted to fulfill through Marriage and family.
Marriage however is supposed to be a mutual consent of two people that is “A man and a Woman and must be witnessed by the parents of both parties according to their lineages, where these parties lack in the picture, that marriage is not legal whether you wed your wife and invite how many guests, it will be an invalid marriage. The church does not bless the marriage, the blessings must come from the parents of the married couple. The role of the church in the marriage is to witness the covenant made by the couple, and pray and uphold the blessing given by the parents of both parties for the couple in order to finish and fulfill whatever God has purposed in the lives of the two.
Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”
“I will go,” she said. So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies.” Genesis 24:57-60.
The young lady received the blessing of the parents and indeed she was successful in her marriage and fulfilled the agenda of God, remember the call of Jacob? Rebekah prayed a great role because she was spiritually mature, I could imagine where girls ran away from their Families to get married, they receive curses and in most cases their enemies win them and end up in witch craft.
This is what happens at the beginning of Marriage that is never or less cared about when marriage has taken place. The surrendering of Authority between the married.
When a man and a woman get married, they become one flesh. However something else happens, if they submit to each other (Genesis2; 24). This means that they give up authority over their own lives and give it to themselves acting in unity. They agree not to do anything important, unless they both agree. This creates a new entity, a couple. Authority that they used to exercise independently of each other, is transferred to that new entity. They make this transfer of authority in return for the joy of marriage. This is authority from below, because at any time they can go back to being selfish and independent. However once someone who has entered into the marriage it’s not reversible since it’s a sacred covenant and it’s known by God.
However much they couple disagrees and agrees on how things should run in the Family, The Man is the Head of the Family and the Wife being a helper in the Family for the Home to be built for the Glory of God. Initially God had created Eve to help Adam instead she played a contrary role by destroying Adam, Adam had been entrusted with the whole creation to take care of the earth before Eve came into play and the role of Eve was to help Adam in order to fulfill the agenda of God in submission. But the devil intercepted that, could it be that a woman had not understood her role in the new Family? You and I will still have these questions to ask ourselves. And this shall be tackled in the coming subject of “A role of a Woman in the Family”.
Each time we are presented a picture of a woman in the dream and visions or revelations most of the times God is referring to his Church, or the church of Christ and that also gives us a picture of a woman in the family. A wife is very fundamental in the making of the Family, reason is that a Man cannot make up a Family alone. There is a need of a union of two with mutual consent which are both physical and sacred or that is its relevance in Spiritual realties.
Today’s marriages unfortunately do not give us a true picture of how marriage is important in the Kingdom of God, since most of the people marry with their self-motives, some get married because of business deals, some get married because they are burning with lust, some can marry just because they want to have sex , some get married because they have seen others marrying, some get married because of Age factor, all these above reasons undermine the agenda of God and what he wants to achieve in his Kingdom, Family and in a Nation. If the marriage is wrong the outcome of the fruit will be wrong and this affects the purpose of God.
The sad thing is that church was restored to teach the correct way of how the marriage should be done, unfortunately the current church has distorted view of marriage even, the worldly people can’t learn from the Christianity. Pastors of today are a big shame and big jokers in the role of the church, most of them have been deviated from the way of life In Christ Jesus so in that aspect, they give wrong counsel to their followers. Imagine the church today appoints the parents of the couple from the church minus knowledge of the real parents? Really this is very wrong, and they wed them in the church, they get Aunts from the church and not real Aunties of the couple just because the Parents do not give a consent of the couple’s marriage, there would be a greater Judgment in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ, we are a big mess today than Sodom.
WHAT DID GOD SAY ABOUT MARRIAGE?
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:27-28;
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9
“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 9:9
God is the author of Marriage and he started it, so he is in the best position to give guidance especially today especially that he has left us with the Holy Spirit whom has been sealed in us for the day of redemption, he can be a great guidance to our errors if we cling to his advice. Everyone in this universe, God has a purpose for them in life, the problem is that most of us are challenged by the Family curses after wrong marriages of our Fathers and Mothers of God which is working hard to reverse and turn them into a blessing through Christ Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit because curses follow up the generations and distort what God has purposed in life for everyone.
After when Sin entered into the world, the view of marriage was distorted and it became a great joke to some people, and to others its serious but imagine what is not understood in the marriage outcome is the agenda of God. And why he had established marriage in the first place. Everyone who gets married wants a happy family filled with Love and peace, acquire wealth, may be produce some children educate them and end of story. But that is being shorted sighted of what God had planned.
The family arises from marriage. Parents, children, and family members form what is called a domestic church or church of the home and make up a nation .This is the primary unit of the Church – the place where the Church lives in the daily love, care, hospitality, sacrifice, forgiveness. God had planned ahead of us, only that the first Man did not take time to ask God of what had been entrusted with him, God created Authority which was supposed to be exercised in the Family, Church and in a Nation. God created a Christian Marriage, in the first place Adam was a Christian and Eve too. This means he had many things to with the two in the long run. The earth was a better place to live prior to fall it was extremely very beautiful and filled with the Glory of God, nothing was corrupted and God made this bold statement which was mis-interpreted and which is now still mis-interpreted.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Genesis1:28.
Many Christians and the world as a whole may interpret that actually God had ordered a Man and a woman to go and bear many children as it stated above and that statement is true I do not object, but there is also a big revelation in the same scripture because the word Fruitful may mean many things not only referring to bear children. God had created a first Family on earth and had created many things for them, which was a big role and a big call, taking care of God’s creation of what he had created and making useful of the things God had created.
The Family was to be fruitful not only child bearing but also in taking responsibility in order to fulfill other agendas of God and His plan for Humanity. God simply wanted the Man and woman to be productive, effective and be efficient in producing fruit in whatever he had given to them. This call was under estimated by the first Family, they did not care about themselves being the church of God. The world remains in the same trap, the creation still under bondage, the devil is still deceiving the church and families of today in the same manner. No one marries with aim of full filling the Agenda of God, maybe we do not know what we are supposed to do, shame upon us.
The good Spiritual doors of the Family and a good Marriage opens the good Spiritual and physical gates of any state nation, because the Family is where the Nation is made. Remember God’s Promise to Abraham- through you many nations shall come and many descendants. What had killed the nation of Israel is that, the community of Israel had not been made a state so they messed and what God wanted to achieve in the whole world was distorted by them, Most of them died in the wilderness because they hindered the plan of God through rebellion, disbelief and other acts that were sinful, remember that Israel in the wilderness was not yet a nation, it was a community with many families comprised to begin a new state of Israel.
Through Family many nations are reckoned and that gives a true picture of what God wants to accomplish on earth, if all the people in the various parts of the world come to Christ Jesus through the glorious gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, then we would have begun the victory that Jesus Christ realized on the Cross. The sad thing is that the victory should begin at home, the initial church of God merging to the body of Christ all over the world and thus making many nations realize the victory of Jesus on the cross. But because we want to marry for our own selfish reasons we do not even think about that, we only look unto the surface of the things in life, we simply look at the beautifulness’s and handsomeness of our spouses in joining marriage with unsanctified Love which corrupts all things, and our children suffer the consequences of the sin and of lack of guidance of our marriages.
Whenever marriage is based on beauty and material things then we are heading to destruction, we never realize what God could be planning for us if we are not patient, the Christians should be the driving force in portraying the better image of God through face of Christ Jesus but the latter is not in effect, because the Christians are not genuinely Born Again through Christ Jesus- this type of Christianity is not through Grace but through promises of humanity, many people get born again today simply someone has promised them marriage, will that Christian make a church of God? Really? Will that Christian be transformed and be renewed? Really? I think this kind of Christian will not be a temple of the Holy Spirit, after all he or she has got born again because of selfish reasons, the church has not changed because Christians have not genuinely got born again and the families made up out of such couple can’t make a God’s family and won’t be a church either in the Home. The fruit will be not good to portray the Christianity which truly undermines the purpose of Christ and his work on earth to fulfill the Agenda of God in redemption of humanity and forgiveness of our sins, we trample the blood of Jesus Christ each time we use it wrongly for the purpose it was intended to do.
WHO SHOULD MARRY?
Man is always the one to marry except the person who take any thought of getting married must be Spiritually Mature and Physically Mature and financially strong or stable in order to take care of the Family. The reason is that before Adam and Eve we put together Adam had lived many years on earth than the woman herself, the Man was financially stable because he was entrusted with the entire earth so he could sustain and provide for the Family if problems arose. Adam was also mature spiritually and physically. After the fall we have learnt the lessons we need to pray as a unit of the Family and overcome the devil, the first attacks the Home before attacking the Church, then the church will be at stake, if the couple at home sins and their children are sinning, that’s why we need to be Spiritually mature in order to war against principalities and thwart the plans of the enemy against the Family before they attack the church.
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, ‘for she was taken out of man.”That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis2; 19-24”.
In the scripture, its noted that Adam had lived more years than Eve, Eve was a beautiful flower put into the garden to be cared for and be directed under Authority of Man, unfortunately the man failed to condense this, and messed up. This should not be the same today. Men are the ones to marry not Women, imagine today Women marry Men total disgrace.
The man must be financially stable in order to take care of the Family and able to pay the bride price, and this is required for Christian marriages, even to those who are not Christians.
A Christian marriage covenant could re-establish a biblical form of the bride gift. In most Asian cultures, a dowry is a payment that a father has to pay to get a man to take one his daughters as wife. This is a perversion of the biblical bride gift, because it devalues women and causes parents in these cultures to prefer sons, because daughters cost them in money.
The biblical model is different. The purpose of a dowry to provide security for the woman who leaves the protection and support of her family to marry into another family. In the scriptures, a man must provide a gift to the father of his prospective bride (Ex 22:16,17). His ability to give a gift proves that he is capable of providing for his wife. For example, Jacob worked seven years to establish that he was worthy to get Rachel as his wife (Gen 29:18). Abraham’s servant gave costly gifts to Rebekah’s brother and mother, before they agreed that she could marry Isaac (Gen 24:52-53).
The father of the bride decides the value of the gift required for the daughter.
Let me find favour in your eyes, and I will give you whatever you ask. Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great as you like, and I’ll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the girl as my wife (Gen 34:11,12).
Saul required David to kill one hundred Philistines, before he allowed his daughter Michal to become his wife. This demonstrated his ability as a soldier (1 Sam 18: 23-27).
The bride gift is a good test for potential husbands. A man who can give a good gift has proved that he can save money and build up his capital. The gift assures the bride’s parents that he will provide for their daughter and that she will not become dependent on them.
In modern culture, casual attitudes to sex have allowed males to drink the milk without buying the cow, and females have been left holding the baby. A requirement for a bride gift would be a strong counter to these attitudes.
The father does not keep the bride gift for himself, but holds it in trust on behalf of his daughter. He might lend it to the couple to enable them to buy a home or start a business. This ensures that a bride bring some capital to her marriage, even if she and her father are poor. If the bride is widowed or her husband deserts her, the bride price belongs to her. This provides her with continuing economic security while she is caring for their children.
Rachel and Leah were frustrated by their father Laban, because he did not use the bride gift that Jacob had given him for their benefit. They considered that he had stolen their dowry (Gen 31:14-15).
Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us (Gen 31:15).
More so Marriage requires both couples to be mature physically and Spiritually in order handle the things God has purposed in the family and for the church. Because we have not lived in the proper true Families of God, we have messed the entire marriage issues, today the Christians Youth get married without a consent of the parents and some run away from their families even when they have nothing and they say after all we love each other and they engage themselves in things that the gentiles are burning for and live in the way of perverse. Jacob had to first work for the wives he married and that was the bride price he paid for the wives, and obtained the blessing from parents of the wives. So he was right in the eyes of God and of Men because he fulfilled the requirements but today Christians only engage themselves without calculating the price of someone’s daughter? That is very wrong, and surprisingly the girls are so cheap and they just go really? Do you think the marriage would stand with the parent’s blessings? And God cannot bless that Family, the marriage will always be in a Mess, imagine many run away with girls and end up marrying the beautiful queens of the seas and vice versa.
WHOM SHOULD YOU MARRY?
Any Christian of course should be guided by the Holy Spirit since he is the father, the helper and a guider of any Christian today. The ways of getting the your wife or your husband might not be the same, but all must be guided by the Holy Spirit, he is the master Planner, parents can advise on a girl or your man you want to marry after a serious scrutiny, your friend can also recommend for you especially if your friend is Spiritually mature, your Pastor can also advise after making your research on your spouse you would have admired for marriage- remember I am talking to Christians here, Although need serious prayers, for confirmations from God, there are those who get their spouse through connection of God, even when they do not know each other. So I may not advise on the way of getting your spouse because it cannot be one way. Isaac wife was brought the servant, Isaac in this case was still Spiritually immature he could have messed up, that’s why Abraham send his servant to get him a wife.
The servant of Abraham was spiritually mature, even though he was sent he did not take upon himself he had subjected everything in the hands of God through the Holy Spirit, this is the prayer he made;
“When I came to the spring today, I said, ‘Lord, God of my master Abraham, if you will, please grant success to the journey on which I have come. See, I am standing beside this spring. If a young woman comes out to draw water and I say to her, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar,” and if she says to me, “Drink, and I’ll draw water for your camels too,” let her be the one the Lord has chosen for my master’s son.’
“Before I finished praying in my heart, Rebekah came out, with her jar on her shoulder. She went down to the spring and drew water, and I said to her, ‘Please give me a drink.’
“She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too.’ So I drank, and she watered the camels also.
“I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ Genesis24:42-47.
The servant of Abraham prayed a silent prayer but he needed confirmations truly whether the woman he was looking for would be ideal for his master Isaac, and in his prayer he included Tests for the Woman to do and fulfill, that serving the camels and imagine this young lady demonstrated a submissive character, not only that but she demonstrated she was a hard working woman, she would welcome strangers and care for those whom his master has under his directive, because Rebekah did not know the Man asking to draw water for, could Rebekah give a character of an ideal woman would be yes, she was obedient, she was God-fearing, she was submissive, and she was hardworking, I do not know how many Jerrycans she could have fetched because camels can’t drink on jar of water. Rebekah had all the willingness to support other people and she was with filled with charity she learnt at home because she had grown up in a God fearing Family. And through them we are blessed with the savior.
The problem we have today women want their men to be like movie Stars because of the films that are being watched, even the young grow in that angle thinking they would get a man like Salvador and other soap actors, this is very wrong it corrupts the seed of the young girls and they grow fast in doing evil than think right things of God.
I remember when I was young I myself watched those Nigerian movies, soaps, and other immoral films, but I can assure you, the evil Spirits I could have picked up were quiet many, up to now fighting them and doing repentance, women do not expect your husband to do same things you watch in movies and soaps, that’s an abomination those are not godly, they corrupt your senses, and men do not copy and paste what you have watched in movies before you came into salvation. If you want your marriage to last avoid such kind of impurities to be brought into the Family. Rebekah grew up from home, she was an obedient lady, respectful, wise and godly in character. She recognized authority.
When we know what God has called for us and what God has purposed in us for his Kingdom then we can be in a better position to pray in the will of God. Am not saying everyone may get a chance to marry like Isaac, or those who married not like Isaac should not divorce, because are already messed up and have to endure, there is need to repent and accept to continue, the day you entered the marriage it became your life until death sets apart. However, I am speaking to the young generation of Christians today not to partake in the same errors made by those who were not guided by the Spirit of God.
The biggest problem is the deception from the devil that we are aging and people want to get married to anyone they see around the church, mind you the devil set traps around the church today to lure into the prison, my might end in the sea and serve with demons, be patient, wait, be watchful and Test all messages that come towards without undermining any otherwise it might be end of you by marrying a wrong.
Anyone who is a Christian called by the name of Jesus Christ, must seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit towards marriage, do not look merely outwardly of the Christians, some Christians are pretenders and a trap set for your fall and destruction. You must do ground check and find out whether your woman or your Man you want marry is really God-fearing Christian in truth and in Spirit, for the Spirit we test them by the Spirit and for the physical we test them by physical, you need to know where this person comes from and where did he or she originate and do you really have evidence sufficiently needed? Once all is obtained then you need to weigh whether you could consider marrying them. Otherwise you would make the greatest mistake in your life and live to regret.
- Do not marry someone just because he or she sings for you well in the church choir, devil agents are gifted also in this.
- Do not marry someone because he or she laughs best for you
- Do not marry someone because she looks very beautiful and stunning at first sight, it might be trap
- Do not marry because she is seductive when she speaks
- Do marry someone because of love at first sight that is how the world marries so it should be like you because you were taught in Christ Jesus and so must live in the way of Christ.
- Do not marry someone because you feel sympathetic for them that they have delayed marrying them or she has no mother and no Father,
- Do not marry because you are burning in lust, I think marriage might not be the solution, marriage does not kill sexual lust but Jesus Christ does away with lust if you are patient, if you do so that is the end of your marriage because each time you are burning with sexual lust and someone is not in a position to give you, then adultery sets in like rigor montis so be careful.
- Do not marry because someone to wash for you or cook for you
- Do not marry for recognition
We should wait upon’s God will in order to blessed with a better family, and help in building the Kingdom of God.
WHERE SHOULD YOU MARRY?
As Christian I would recommend you to marry from the church and to a person who is really born again and to a person who won’t really affect your Spiritual life, that person could be in another church but the church being a born again Christian church, the reason is that the Born Again may understand your life and will not affect your Spiritual life, anyone God would bring in your life should have been prepared beforehand to receive salvation. Do not be Spiritual that you cannot discern the needs of the physical and however you should not be pushed by the desires of the flesh in futility. Instead you should preserve yourselves for the Joy of your marriages.
The greatest mistake I see amongst Christians men and women is urge to get married and in panic they always go a step of God and fall into the traps of the enemy and to reverse this may be next to impossible unless if you want to continue in sexual sin through adultery.
Jesus Christ expects us to grow in the knowledge of him after we have gotten saved by his Grace and apply wisdom in whatever we get into.
THE ROLE OF COURTSHIP FOR MARRIAGE;
The Marriage courtship is very important and should be conducted with godly fear and with Christian values, the role of Courtship is to prepare the Couple to relate with another and plan for their future of the marriage and family, and how they can fulfill the agenda of God for humanity, it’s not meant for people to sleep together and have sexual relations like the youth do today, the Christian men and women today are burning in lust and therefore they end up having sex before marriage during courtship, this corrupts all whatever God would have planned for you, you only open the gates of Hell and curses for the family and the marriage will be under bondage of sin and will affect the children and the next generations. Remember every man or woman you have sexual relations with, you inherit all their generational curses and you become one in the Spirit and it becomes a covenant, imagine you slept with over 20 men or women all those are Spiritual covenants and inheritance of whatever has ever happened in their generations from their different clans, these things affect us and they do not just go away my friend there is a big price to pay. The salvation journey is not the way of welfare but warfare, you are always introduced to demons of the clan and all these enter you, and most of these things have affected the lives of the Christians and have fallen away from salvation, some these Spirits become your husbands or your wives even when you get married, and you will never enjoy your marriage.
My Sisters in Christ Jesus do not be deceived by human promises before your time, you have more precious gift in you, the Holy Spirit whom you were given in the day of your Salvation and for God’s sake Christ dwells in you in whom all the God-head deity dwells in bodily form. Say no to sex to anyone before marriage.
A person who demands sex from you before marriage that person is not your ideal husband or your wife, he or she is selfish and does not care about you, he wants to take advantage, Girls do not be so cheap and become hawkers in the Church of God, be godly and produce the fruit in order to get to the right Man God has purposed for you, if you have your husband or your wife you obtained salvation please do not divorce him just because you a young preacher or you feel married in a wrong way. You must be submissive because you did not choose wisely or involve God in the first place, only seek the mercy of God and repent and God will forgive you.
So the courtship should help the couple and realize their future, it’s the period to know your spouse not for tasting the milk before the cow is given to you, but for you to learn one another and be helpful and pray for your marriage to be a successful marriage, it’s also a period to find out the funny characters of your Spouse whether you could handle them. It is a real testing period, spiritually and physically so that you may be delivered. Love is not based on sex agenda to make up a family. Take time my dear Brother and Sister seek guidance from the Lord and he will guide you well. But pray fervently.
HOW SHOULD YOU MARRY?
If Christians take back marriage, most of the paraphernalia of the modern marriage ceremony that make it so expensive will be redundant. There will be no need for cars, suits, wedding dresses, groomsmen, bridesmaids and wedding receptions. Wedding vows should be made in the presence of God during a meeting of the church that the couple will participate in.
Isaac and Rebekah are an example of how simple a wedding ceremony can be. Abraham had sent a servant to look for a wife for his son. The servant was led by God to Rebekah. She had demonstrated the character that a good wife would need. When the servant returned with Rebekah, Isaac accepted his commitment and took her into his family tent.
Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel she took her veil and covered herself. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her (Gen 24:64).
This was all it took for them to be married in the eyes of God.
The problem that is making expensive for the couples is the competition in marriage in the world today.
Many Christians want to base their marriage because they attended a mega wedding or mega party of the married couple, and yet the couple once they agree, they should follow their customs of their various clans without being overburden to make people happy and throw a big party. Okay if you have the money I will not really say much about that, but if you see you do not have then you should go for a simple introduction to the parents of the young lady and obtain the right of the daughter you want to marry. Women today get married just because someone is rich, and men get married just want to get married because they girls have big breasts and the would want to have them, so many Christians are poorly misguided and now they marry because of competition in the church and this is all wrong and it should not like that.
The true Marriage is that which is consented by the both parents of the Couple planning to get married and marriage requirements must be fulfilled as it is directly biblically. And after then the couple can wed where necessary and if they have the money to complete the whole set up at once, but before marriage the girl must be given by the Parents just like Rebekah was given by her parents and was blessed into marriage. Do not marry a man just because he has six packs and you predict that he will be good in bed, your thoughts could be wrong and regret all your entire life. Let each Christian base their marriage on the word of God and by the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Marriage is not a playground but it’s a battle ground, where the people are doing things according to the word of God in the family then that family is part of God’s Kingdom and where things are done on the contrary to the word of God then that family is part of the dark Kingdom. So then as you plan to get married think about it wholesomely and meditate upon, calculate well, seek guidance, the book of proverbs, gives counsel that in multitude of counselors there is safety.
For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. Proverbs11:14.
When seek a guidance from many advisers we are safe and we can build a nation and realize victory. But those who do not seek guidance fall into temptations and live to regret all of their lives.
GUIDANCE TO THE MARRIED ALREADY:
Christians who are already married, you could have not gotten the ideal woman or ideal man therefore do not seek divorce because you did not choose rightly, instead you should seek the Lord’s mercy for forgiveness and God will perfect that person you are married, Women be submissive to your Man in all quietness and be humble, and be obedient that is the will of God for you in the marriage, the Husband is the head of the Family whether you have acquired education more than him, whether you have more wealth than him still he remains the Head of the family and of course the bible is supportive of all this;
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter3; 1-7.
As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. 1thessalonians4; 1-7.
And finally brethren be on guard and seek the Lord’s face while it may be available, know how to live a Holy, a honorable life before and learn how to please God in your deeds, let your body be sacred and be a living sacrifice for God. Do not engage yourselves in sexual sin before marriage. The body was made for the Lord and Lord for the Body, he bought it at price so honor the Lord in your Bodies and in Spirit. Because you know such people do those will not partake in the Kingdom of Christ and of God the Glorious Father of all. See that that you do not be deceived and sell your soul like Esau who sold his birth right for a meal so cheaply like that, be hearers of the word and doers of the word of God. This will enable you endure life, to those who were taken advantage of, and in marriages please insist on the Lord he will your guide and answer you in all.
Let’s move step in step with the Holy Spirit in our marriages and parents be a good example to your children because you are the Spiritual doors for the blessings of the children, if you mess up today, the sown shall be reaped in the end, so be watchful in doing so we shall win the enemy and the last enemy shall be death to swallowed up in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Marriage subject is really a big subject, and if by the will of God, am permitted I will add on this piece, to you grace be multiplied and peace of God our Father the Holy and wise God to him be the Glory.
I remain Asher Namanya, the servant of the Living God and the Lord Jesus Christ also a laborer in the word of God, I beseech to you remain Faithful in your marriages there is a great prize in the day of the Lord, see that you keep this till the end and I will be very glad to see you in the day of Our Lord Jesus Christ. We have received the Spirit of Love, the Spirit of good conscience and of Power. Do not fear for God is with you always.
I wish you well and pray for you, peace be with your Families and God bless your marriages. Amen.